Battle of the Hair: Who Rocks the Best Weave

I would like to consider myself a weave aficionado. For those of you that know me, you know why - for everyone else, just mind your own beeswax. Weaves, hair extensions, clip ins are beyond popular. Everyone's girl Tyra Banks has even dedicated a full 60-minute show to the fake hair industry. Thus with the amount of fake locks gracing the heads of our favorite women (and men), its time to battle this out. Weave Competition 2k10..

1. Tiffany, aka "New York": This HBIC has rocked the multiple strands of synthetic hair, from curly tendrils to straight. I have seen some alarming styles looking like snakes popping from her scalp, but I have also seen some phenomenal loose curls.
2. Allie, aka "The Bachelorette": This horny singleton came back with quite the ball drop in the newest season of the show. Her hair extensions look like they were put in with a glue stick. They are separated like spaghetti noodles, overall a sloppy mess. Pain is beauty - in this case, painful on the eyes of the viewers.
3. Sammie, aka "Sweetheart": Sammie, (who can't really pronounce her -r's, so Ronnie becomes "Wonnie") has shown everyone that she loves the clip in extensions. I give it to her, I think they look bad ass. If I were Sammie I would upgrade to a full 24/7 look with the long extensions - they take away from her terrible personality.
4. Jennie, aka "JWow": Wow is right. Call me crazy but neon rulers glued into the hair is not a flattering look. JWizzle really shocked the hell out of America when she rolled in to the Seaside Heights house with an utter abominable shit storm on her head. If I were her, I would have taken the money from the extension crisis, and bought more midriff baring tops and bedazzled acid wash boot cut jeans.
5. Heather, aka "Rock of Love Chick": Now, I don't understand what it is about 30 inches+ of pink, black, and platinum hair that would leave one thinking that it would ever look good. It is wrong on all levels. Heather looks like she had My Little Pony put the fake locks in.
6. Brett Michaels: I think his look nice, however - I have yet to see him sans cowboy hat or bandanna, so it could be a mess underneath the heat he's packing on his head.
7. Real, "Real Chance of Love": dreadlocks...more like shitlocks. The long weave that Real rocks has been braided, (french and cornrowed) and curled. I was waiting for the day that he would rock an updo - he obviously is high maintenance with his hair, I would never want my boo to share my curling iron. It would look good on a female, I might call him and see who glues that bad-boy in...
8. Kate Gosselin: Disasterous, Armageddon 2k10. I don't know whats worse the choppy hurricane strands that were just thrown up in her hair, or her dancing performance to "Paparazzi" by Gaga-loo on DWTS.

Moral of the Story: Do I respect fake hair? YES. Do I respect many of the weaves rocked by our favorite reality tv stars? NO.