Coerte V. W. Felske

Who is this man of mystery? The wispy haired weirdo that took our dearest Housewife of the Big Apple, LuAnn on a date to the underground sexual restaurant and ordered aphrodisiac cocktails with. If I were her, I would have done some extensive research on this polyester suit wearing creep fest. I would have checked the dark records: aka, How to Catch a Predator. I swear I could picture Cort coming to a 12-year old little girl, or boys house, with a 12'er of Zima, an R.Kelly CD, and a smile that could make a clown cry.

Well, since LuMAN wasn't eager enough to find out the depths of Mr. Felske, I thought I would do some research. Here is what I came across:

1. He is an author, which we already knew. His popular books include: The Millenium Girl, The Shallow Man, Word, Scandolocity, Famegirl. They are classified to be erotic stories, moral-free readings if you must.
2. He is 43 years old, lives in NYC, and loves the Hamptons.
3. He has a MYSPACE page. (http://www.myspace.com/168094221)
4. He has a FACEBOOK page
5. He is SINGLE....don't tempt me with a good time

I hope that everyone had the chance to watch the creepy, molester'esque date that Lulu and Corty pants went out on. From his attempt to channel John Travolta in 'Staying Alive' with the white wide open shirt and his wispy baby bird feather hair, I would have been bolting out the door in a matter of seconds. The cool, calm Countess, went along with his sexual drink ordering skills, his attempt to make out with her every second, and of course watch him laugh without vomiting. Funny, as the FEMME FATALE (her drink of choice, aka Roofie Colada from Cort) and his DEAL CLOSER (boy Cort, your discreet) goes down the hatch, these two love birds become like horny 6th graders bumping and grinding at a middle school dance. Making out like awkward goons every 30 seconds.

My roommate and reality tv confidant, Katie, pointed out his laugh. For those who haven't paid close attention, please watch. It looks like he has peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth and finds it necessary to use his tongue as a tool to release it while laughing with a weird head cock and creepy eyebrow raises.

Needless to say, Cort is OUT. But, as LuAnn pointed out - they are still the chummiest of pals, and he recently played tennis with her in the Hamptons. He is better suited handling balls, in my opinion.

Moral of the Story: Creepy Award 2k10 award goes to Cort. But, nice choice LuAnn: MONEY CANT BUY YOU CLASS!