What in the HELL has our society come to? First, we are forced to watch the trolls crawl out from under their bridge on The Bachelorette guard and protect our hearts while crying, and now Kate Gosselin, The Goz Monster, have a dating show? Wasn't it bad enough when our televisions exploded when she performed to Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" on Dancing with the Stars?
Well I guess it's time to turn the weird notch up on our tv's, and in our lives. Prepare yourselves bachelors of the 40+ age range, Kate is ready to take on the dating world in full force. I'm not too sure what network will pick this up yet. Obviously, Kate is past the MTV stage, VH1 could be ok...but she's not ghetto or slutty enough to embark on this network, yet..
I'm thinking the greatest contenders to pick up this lousy excuse for a 60-minute time slot, will be: Oxygen, TLC, and ABC. Oxygen rocks the likes of angry women, TLC already has picked up the Goz Monster and Johnny cakes, and clearly ABC has no modesty for casting the goons in our society.
Predictions for the Show: Washed up late 20's (to make Kate feel cougar'ific) to 50 year old bachelors of all shapes and sizes. I am seeing everyone from the self made millionaire, to a struggling one man band that travels to Nashville on a whim. Kate will hands down be more socially awkward and struggling then ever. Her conversations, no doubt, will be filled with over exerted draining emotion, and her extensions will look more spaghetti strand piecey than ever. I'm expecting terrible attempts at lazy Saturday juicy suits, and even worse Dress Barn / J.McClintock get ups for her nights out.
Favorite Expected Parts of the Show: Hometown dates. I can't wait when these ever single men will meet the +8 of Kate Gosselin's life. I can see the children causing terror. I can see the men trying to engage them in a solid, fatherly like figure, and when the cameras go off crying for sweet mercy and getting the fuck out of dodge once they are eliminated. The poor sucker that is stuck with A) Kate as a potential wife, B) Jon as a potential "ex-husband" counter part, and C) 8 tater tots under the age of 10 as his step children; has a long and arduous road ahead of him. BYE BYE Bachelorhood, you just married yourself into KATE +8!
Sidenote: Jon could FO SHO get a show on VH1. I'm not hating, if anything, I'm appreciating. Jon will try and channel the Bret Michaels / Real Chance of Love feel, contracting and giving more STD's than anyone could think was humanely possible.
No comments:
Post a Comment