ConFRATulations Mr. Jenner, you are the biggest tool at camp

Brody Jenner is hot. SMOKING hot, hot, hot. But his fierce looks are completely and utterly downplayed by his douchey tool bag personality. Each season, and each episode Mr. Jenner proceeds to play more and more with the homo-dust, thus resulting in a poor attempt at being the bro of all bro's. The following reoccurring incidents have given Brody this title:

1. Mansquad: Brody is rolling with atleast 3-4 bros/brahs at a time - and constantly piggy backing with Frankie
2. Toasts: Brody LOVES toasting to all occasions - the toasts are long, drawn out, and always talking about getting drunk and having fun..nothing wrong with this the first shot of the night, on a special occasion, but when its happened 11 times earlier in the previous hour, you want your ears to stop working
3. Immense collection of beaters and beanies: rain, sun, sleet, hail, heat, snow - nothing can stop the Brodster from rocking these two staple items.
4. "Surfer": now, I have never witnessed Brody ACTUALLY catching a wave - it's always him in some sort of board-short/quicksilver apparel laying on the beach with his board. I could pretend to be a surfer too, but does that mean I could actually surf, NO.
5. Vocabulary: his words are always drawn out, and include the likes of: rad, dude, brah, bro, chick..all things that went out with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
6. Constant deep convos: always trying to play Dr. Phil - the crew could be having the time of their lives, and he wants to break it down about his deep friendship or love for the person. You would have to have constant ear plugs or kleenex attached to the hip when around the Brodster.
7. Shots: Brody LOVES shots...hot pink, neon blue, on fire, straight plain - this boy wants to get weird with a quick fix and throwback of hard liquor
8. Frattoos: Brods love tats..anything that is a Chinese or religious symbol, game over.
9. Avril Lavigne: this is the icing on the cake for me...like really Brody? One of her hit songs was "Sk8r Boy", she thinks skulls and striped socks make her a rebel, and you are the guy from Sum41's sloppy seconds. WA-HOOF.

Well Brody, your face is tight..but the rest of you AINT right!

But please know if you do ever meet me, and ask me on a date, I will oblige - and probably make out with you and love on you, and then just love you. But, we'll cross that bridge when we get there babay...