Snooki is my Cookie

I am convinced that we are separated at birth. She is my sister from another mother. She had me at hello when she entered the doors of the Seaside Heights booze zone. Her first shot of vodka made my tummy tingle. From her love of pickles, her caramel complexion, Wet & Wild makeup collection, Rocketdog platform flip flops, trucker hats, and personality have made her a legend. The following are my favorite Snooki memories:

• Cartwheels, tumbling, and back flips while at the bar. With lace thong, and her crotch greeting all those who were present
• Being punched in the face, by a male, the outrageously swollen lip - causing for the baby bites in order to feed her need
• Night #1 pass out, hot tub orgy with the guidos. Don't tempt me with a good time
• The random hookups she had, my favorites include: the guy that threw up on the astro turfed rooftop, and the other male that accompanied her to the beach because she was too b.o'ed to remember her address
• Her pickle obsession, as she said “I have a specific way I eat it, I like to suck the juice out.” which then led to her deep throating the pickle in front of the Jersey Shore male crew, instant boners.
• The hookup with the Situation in the hot tub. THIS Situation included a red trucker hat, over sized hoops, and her bubbies coming out for some hot loving
• 4'9" tall, 5'3" in platform slip ons, 5'6" with her poof. I want to take her in my front pocket at all times
• Snickers issue with the duck phone
• Her personal boardwalk dance party. Full on jiration station, alone, 2pm'ish, in public. Takes the song "Dancing with Myself" to a literal translation.

Moral of the story: Everyone should want to get Snookerized at one time or another in their life, and I would like to join her for some hardcore fist pumping at Karma or Bamboo.