Who remember's when Ryan Cabrera, alias Spike/Sonic the Hedgehog/Massive Tool /Ry-Guy/Ryanasourus Rex was on the MTV reality show with Ashlee Simpson? ..Well I do, I watched, and even being like 13 years old, was still smart enough to realize that this clown was a massive douche.
Let's break down and look into the world of Mr. Cabrera
- His hair and clothing style hasn't changed in at least a decade
- He is not a celebrity, I don't even know if he could be on the D-list? His song, On the Way Down, was cool for like .5 seconds
- This is his THIRD show on MTV, he goes from dating Ashlee Simpson, to being on Sweet 16, and now the Hills..I could see him next trying to be hillariously funny and outrageous on Disaster Date.
- The "relationship" that he shares with Audrina is unique, to say the least. We all watched them DTR on tv, seen him rip hillariously UNFUNNY jokes, share her jean collection, give her a house tour of his new pad (which, by the way, love the "music room" AKA the entrance of your house) I don't know if it's just me, but every time I watch them, my innards kinda cringe in the sense that it looks like a bad blind date each time?
- It is apparent that NO ONE in a 30 mile radius is interested in Mr. Cabrera
- He is probably 5'6, but with hair, pushing 5'10
- He loves bracelets, clearly, they start at the wrist and end at his elbow
- His jeans always must be as tight as possible. He loves jeggings, and anything that appears that it has been spray painted on his body
- He LOVES the deep-v..I am convinced one day it will be cut down to his pelvic bone showing his belly button, which I wouldn't be shocked if it were wearing a butterfly'esque belly button ring
- He needs to settle down on the Jim Carrey type of over animated faces and gestures at all time. His facial muscles must be EXHAUSTED by a mid-morning snack, no doubt
Rynasourus Rex, I love to hate ya.
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